October 6, 2006 at 9:08 am
Am I a bad girl?
The other day, I was having “Dim sum” (if you don’t know, it’s called Chinese dumpling with a lot of variety of meat & prawn) with TH & TP. We were chatting & teasing each other, laughing along. Enjoying our conversation.Suddenly an old lady, I guess she’s in her 50’s, come to us begging for money.
“Can spare me some money?” the old lady said. She said this to every table at the restaurant. Unfortunately nobody ever care but ignore her. When she come to me, our conversation suddenly became silent. Then she repeat her sentence gain. Still we keep looking at each other. After a few minute, she left our table, and keep asking the same question to people over there.
The moment she left, TH started to tell TP, “She is very “generous” one. She use to always donate to those people, if not because of she never bring along her purse, for sure she already give just now!” TH is actually teasing me. Then TH asked me, “Do you know she was talking to you?” I said ” Yes, but she scared me by suddenly come and beg for money, when I really don’t realize it”
While we were discussing about this, “Could you buy me a “pau”? It was the lady again. Again she only say this to me. We become silent again. Since we never respond to what she said, she left our table to another table near ours.
Both TH & TP looked at me, ” Do you know she was talking to you?” I said “Yes, I don’t know how to respond” I started to look at the lady, she still begging for food. Fortunately for her, there was a couple who is generous enough to treat her. Suddenly I feel really bad with myself.
Why did I never care with what she said to me? I feel that I have done something very wrong. (The feeling is like I have betray someone) I should have treat her some food. Why did I acted so cruel? Since when I become like that?
Both TH & TP started to tease me again, until they know I feel uneasy with it only they stop talking about it. Later we left the restaurant, I asked TH, “Is it I’m bad?” TH said “You have to understand, you can’t help all the people in this world. Everyone work hard for living” I just keep quiet.
Somehow I know he is right. But just that I don’t think that way. Tears run down my cheeks without me realize it. I feel really regret for not helping the old lady. I really wish things will be better off for her for the rest of her life!
- (This incident reminds me about something happened years ago, that time I was still studying in primary Year 6, I’m having breakfast with SF, an old Indian lady came to us for a glass of water. Without saying a word, I gave away my drink to her. (not yet drink by me OK) I still remember SF said to me, ” Why you want to be so good to these people?” I just keep quiet. Deep down my heart, I was just thinking, these people is also one of us. But how come the me today & before acted so differently?)
Hey, you are not bad girl. You know why? You realised about yourself…
So don’t worry.. Next time if you get any chance to help anybody, and if you can afford that. Then just go ahead and help them.
But but but…. Whatever you friend said is also very very true.. YOU CAN’T KEEP HELPING EVERYONE. Remember that. But don’t stop helping whenever you can.
Like to hear somemore from you in days to come. Have a good time. View all comments by Vindos
Nah…u r not a bad girl the first time she asked u. From what you wrote, u said “..but she scared me by suddenly come and beg for money, when I really don’t realize it”.
However, it shouldn’t be too hard to over some food to her the second time round. I guessed she must be very hungry otherwise she won’t be asking for food after a round of money begging wasn’t successful.
Don’t feel too bad yah. If u ever meet her again, offer her something.
View all comments by m|Ng